Within every child lurks the surgical argumentative precision to semantically dissect any instruction or question and use it against a logically inept grown-up.
What’s that, Mom? You demand that we refrain from touching our sister? Well, I challenge you to point out when the tip of my finger closes the present one-inch buffer between the end of the digit and her nose.
No, Dad. This is not the same “goofy” face you told me to quit making two seconds ago. This is an entirely separate, distinctive and, most importantly, currently unregulated expression.
Mother, do define “dark” more clearly. I can still see my hand in front of my face. The municipally maintained street lights have not yet activated. At what point does your definition of “dark” become the de facto litmus test for whether I must remain indoors?
Every so often, some Machiavellian youngsters even choose to “tank” a set of parental instructions in hopes of luring a hapless, ultimately frustrated adult into a simple-but-effective con: if you perform some jobs ineptly enough on the first attempt, you may not be trusted to do it again. Occasionally, it actually works.
Paternal vengeance, thy name is Josh Darnit. The family-friendly YouTube vlogger threw down the gauntlet upon his unsuspecting spawn Johnna and Evan to face the “Exact Instructions Challenge.” The children had one job to do: provide Josh with idiot-proof instructions for making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
How hard could it be, right? A grown father of two could surely not misinterpret how to prepare this simplest of sandwiches from a mere three ingredients, right? Why, it would take a willful commitment to breaking an adversary’s will for him to gleefully expose the flaws in their explicitly detailed requests.
Hold the man’s beer.
