If your Jesus Juice be cherished and chaste as as its namesake’s mother’s no-no place, then gird it well within this fine Chainmail Wine Bottle Bag.
Protect your fine Venn of vine with pride, young squire. The parched, barbarous hordes of your next tasting would have your bottle from your hand live or cold and dead just the same with regret for neither. Anodized aluminum is no shirt of Mithril, but tie the top of the bag and keep thy Two Buck Chuck secure whether tucked into a picnic pack or comfortably cooling in the sanctity of thy wintery fridge. A kingly gift, indeed.
This geeky ceremonial garb of the grape stretches to accommodate a 5″ bottle with ease, but may over-stretch at the bottom when fitted over anything larger.