Ceramic Raptor Mug Delivers One Last Warning To Anyone Standing Between You And Coffee

We’ve decided to recommend this neatly detailed ceramic Raptor Mug based on how closely we’ve gotten to know you these past few years. In fact, we’re probably well enough acquainted to just be upfront: we’re onto you.

You address anyone who would deny you that first steam-belching mug of the day or, dare we imagine the gruesome consequences, suggest you pare down to decaf with all the docile formality of a Late Cretaceous predator that never needs an honest-to-goodness reason to rip a lesser animal inside-out. Permitting you the indulgence of that dark, rich brew and its pulse-accelerating payload of caffeine doesn’t guarantee you’ll necessarily be friendly to anyone. Still, if refusing to get between you and a strong A.M. cuppa keeps you at least on an even keel, we will gladly clear a path between you and the Keurig by any means necessary.

A coffee mug is a subtle portrait of the one who wields it. Some choose a vessel bedecked with symbols of a favorite sports team or fandom. Others favor witty slogans extolling their loathing for Mondays. Our saintly Nana Gertrude is just a bit on the smug side, so she really draws out the sips from that “World’s Greatest Grandma” cup to remind everybody in sight that someone definitively declared her the cream of the wrinkly crop and spent a queenly sum of $5.99 to make it official. That being said, we have a question: who in the name of Juan Valdez are you fooling with that pastel Hello Kitty mug?

Your bark may be worse than your bite, but when it comes to your demeanor before fueling up with a cup or more of fresh coffee, it isn’t much of a margin. This hand-painted Raptor Mug holds up to 20 ounces of your essential personal beverage and delivers a subtle, apropos warning-flash of teeth to anyone who might reach for the last bear claw. Who better to keep an eye on your Joe than the only clever girl more apt than you to kill for sport if she doesn’t get what wants?

9 Total Score
Prevents Roaring In the Morning

User Rating: 5 (1 vote)
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