We were warned that the knives of the Iron Chefs would blot out the sun. First, we asked ourselves, “Who actually just tosses cutlery into the air? Does that strike anybody else as absurdly and unnecessarily dangerous?” Once we ceased taking the glib movie reference so literally, we smirked and retorted, “Then we ...
Why Mince Words? Screw insincere pleasantries. You barely mustered the wherewithal to actually wrap that Rabbi-shaped vibrator you got stuck with after playing Yankee Swap at your company Christmas party last year at all. No way will you go above and beyond to pen a few lines of sentimental well-wishing crap in the ...
Animal behaviorists have openly theorized that domesticated cats likely perceive their owners as bizarre, bipedal felines of freakish proportions. What might come across as an air of preternaturally arrogant regality might actually be our pets just not knowing what to make of us. In which case, BigMouth Inc. has ...
(Hey, everyone! Two things to point out about this Pennywise Costume…. First off, at the time of writing this, it is currently sold out online. Nevertheless, we urge you to keep checking back for renewed availability. Second, a plea for some common-bloody-sense: please, do not parlay the stunningly revived ...
What’s this “you win or you die” crap? Mittens has solved our ridiculous human absolutism in a cagey fashion typical of the cunning we’ve come to expect not from a Lannister or Stark, but Lord Varys or Littlefinger: let the idiot bipeds fight and kill each other over the Iron Throne. Meanwhile, if it fits, the kitty ...
You know, for all the life-altering advancements NASA’s groundbreaking interstellar endeavors have propelled forward since the late 1950s, it saddens us that the Space Masher represents the first we’ve ever heard of employing space-travel technology to further the cause of better side dishes for every American’s ...
Makes The Airport Baggage Claim Fun Again! Airline employees have hurled the same tired excuse after misplacing someone’s luggage: “We apologize, but many bags look alike.” Here’s an ingenious means of circumventing that steaming mug of placating crap: Head Case personalized case covers wrap your luggage in a ...
There’s really no wrong way to let the world know you’d rather be fishing than doing whatever it is that's actually devouring your time. Some people display a conspicuous “Gone Fishing” sign to let passersby know they’re merrily wetting a line. Others display the “decency” to fake a cold before buggering off to see ...
This “Happy Birthday” Flashing Cake Topper from Suck U.K. answers a fair question that not nearly enough people have ever asked: when you stop to think about it, do candles ever lend a cake any measure of pizzazz truly befitting celebration of the day a loved one was born? Come on, if you aren’t going to reenact burnt ...
When will Queen's legendarily breathtaking "Bohemian Rhapsody" lose its appeal as any soundtrack's flawlessly fitting vehicle for dramatic, chaotic bombast? If we had to hazard a guess, we'd estimate right around the time Freddie Mercury rises from his grave to record something even more raucous and sweeping. As it ...
Brings Nightmarish Existential Horror To Your Feline Friend's Favorite Window Have you ever wanted to climb inside the head of a cat? Congratulations. We always suspected it, but the Cat Head Squirrel Feeder proves that a hyperactive tree-climbing rodent that pelts parked cars with nuts will always lead a life just ...
As Billy Joel once sang, “The good old days weren’t always good.” Case in point? This greatest-hits collection of bombastic hairstyles from the 1980s. Ah, yes. That decade when monoliths of cash lay buried beneath mountains of cocaine on every street corner, America couldn’t “just say no” to eight years of ...
Give a man a fish and he will eat today. Teach a man to fish and he will feed himself for a lifetime. Fill this EVA-lined Catch of the Day Beverage Cooler with beer and snacks? He will come home reeking of sweat, fish guts, and low tide with a trout the size of a smartphone and about six hours’ worth of stories about ...
Are These The Biggest, Cuddliest And Maybe Creepiest Way To Keep Someone You Love Close? “Sit on my face, and tell me that you love me. I’ll sit on your face and tell you I love you, too…” Longing for the embrace of a loved one parted from you by insurmountable distance? Would you give just about anything in ...
This trio of ThinkGeek-exclusive officially licensed Star Wars Snack Bowls reminds us how little we actually know about what some of these strange beasts actually eat. It then takes around a second for us to remember, “Oh, that’s right! Silly me. There’s a reason I never think about that: looking at some of these ...
Contrary to what this honor roll by So Bad So Good could understandably make anyone believe, avoiding a jaw-droppingly asinine mugshot photo is actually fairly simple. Start by not committing what you know to be crimes. Much like making sure your computer is plugged in before calling tech support to curse out a ...
Mermaids Trade in Their A Glistening Tail For....Um, Pockets? We’ve shown off concepts similar to this before, but these tactile disappearing-reappearing sequins never fail to amuse us anew every time they adorn something. With a new school year right around the corner, ThinkGeek would like to help every awesomely ...
We have never given the scrumptious pickle its culinary due. That much could no longer be any more clear to us, thanks to Van Holten’s Pickle-Ice Freeze Pops. All these years, its tangy, vinegary sweetness has bolstered our burgers, added a savory “zing” to our potato chips and placed a satisfying exclamation of ...
When you are in the mood for snacking, and you want something different and uniquely delicious, then reach for the Party Time Cotton Candy Collection. You don’t have to wait to host a party to enjoy exotic gourmet cotton candy, any time is a good time. The six flavor set of cotton candy includes truly unique and ...
Editor's note: this post was updated on 6/29/2017 to reflect current amazon prime day details as they arise. As more deals are announced, we will constantly update this page. Check back often to hear the news FIRST! When is Amazon Prime Day? Amazon prime day is July 11th, 2017, with 30 hours of shopping starting ...
Since God first granted Adam and Eve dominion over all creatures great and small, human beings have developed this strange little fascination with making animals do things their original manufacturer instructions never exactly intended. Some stop at teaching the dog to fetch the remote. Others taught bears to ride ...
Some inanimate objects in this world come with an easily weaponized creepiness all their own. Want irrefutable proof? Blindfold a herd of “Doctor Who” fans and station them nose-to-nose with a statue of an angel before returning their sight. Just don’t stand directly between them and the nearest escape route if you ...
There is only one law that really matters in our eyes: he who wields the ax, cuts the cheese, period. This Medieval Cheese Board slices right to the heart of that conviction in Gouda-’nuff fashion to liven up our day whenever we’re Bleu. Break out this shield-shaped rubberwood chopping board whenever and wherever a ...
While safety in the kitchen is always a concern when cooking or baking, looking good and having fun never hurts; burns hurt, that is why protecting your hands is so important when handling hot objects, such as pots and pans. If you want to protect you hands, and look good doing it, then get your ‘polar bear hands’ ...
Repurposing disused tires as sturdy planters grant those bald Goodyears lasting new life corralling decorative foliage throughout your property. Unfortunately, your upcycled botanical infrastructure comes at the cost of making your yard look like someplace “COPS” productions crews no longer need directions to find. ...
We could fill a book or two with the things we would give our back teeth to conjure from our favorite video games into the everyday real world. Blue hedgehogs that piss on the sound barrier, would do things no mother wants to imagine just to get their hands on one ordinary golden ring, and go Super Saiyan when they ...
All rise. Guy Fieri, the charismatic “Diners, Dives and Drive-Ins” star and presiding honorable Mayor-for-Life of Flavortown, has stepped up to answer the call of YouTube’s supreme gab session from Hell: the infernal Hot Ones trial of unconscionable torture by hot wings. If the spiky-haired monarch of memes wants ...
If you can tell us you have never looked at a five-inch-long banana slug and wanted to make a whimsical puppet of it by cramming a finger up its anus, we simply cannot be friends. Additionally, if you have never wanted to fit four or five onto your digits and present them as a tiny boy band covering the first ...
Go ahead and admit it. You reside among friends in a judgment-free zone. Tell the truth: if you happened upon a full-grown hibernating grizzly bear, your last thought as you landed a flawless running swan dive onto its resting body would be, "I'm going to take the fluffiest nap ever!" Thanks to this plush Big ...
The Peabody Faux Boxwood Garden Dog from Grandin Road is the essential topiary for the landscaping artisan who can only take manicuring one’s greenery so seriously for so long. This realistic imposter canine made quite the splash recently on NBC’s “The Today Show” with its lush and lifelike silhouette made to charm ...
There are so many kinds of tacos today, such as beef tacos, chicken tacos, pork tacos, vegi-tacos, and even fish tacos, to name a few. The reason tacos are such a popular food is obvious, they are delicious. In fact, the only bad thing about tacos is once you bite into one your almost committed to hold onto it until ...
Have you ever been accused of being a couch potato? Don’t feel bad, you are not alone in enjoying the comforts of home, instead, why not accept the idea? Become one with the potato side of yourself and just lose the coach? Escape the confines of your sofa and get comfy with the Baked Potato Bean Bag Chair. Not only ...
Who doesn’t like bacon and eggs? Actually, many people love bacon and eggs so much that they eat it all the time. Well, there are other things people like to do too, such as swimming, but, what would happen if you combined the two? It’s obvious, you would get these Bacon and Eggs Inflatable Pool Floats! Actually, ...
Do you like playing in the pool? If you do, take your horse-play to the next level with the Inflat-A-Bull – its a full bull-riding experience that will get your whole family and friends in the competitive spirit, fast. Basically, it’s just like the bull riding machines you’d find in a bar, but its an inflatable ...
Who Took the Facehugger From The Alien Egg Ceramic Cookie Jar? YOU took the facehugger from the ... Ok, ok … the joke is too long and it doesn't work unless you sing it like the nursery rhyme. This Alien Egg Ceramic Cookie Jar available from Amazon is just about the uncoolest housewarming gift to get as you move to ...
Summer is around the corner and barbecues and bonfires are the order of the day. Why not terrify Bob next door, who never remembers to return your palm sander, with this flaming pile of skulls at your next backyard soirée? These adult sized skulls (aka grim reminders to late returns of borrowed goods) are made in ...
Looking at a restaurant menu is like choosing a show to watch on Netflix. Our eyes glaze over at the pages of choices presented to us and instead of piquing our curiosity we just go with what we know i.e. a burger or watching 30 Rock again. Chef Robbie Postma, of J. Walter Thompson Amsterdam, and artist Robert ...
Nearly everyone on the planet is a coffee drinker, and if you want to know the kind of coffee drinker a person is, you can usually get a good idea about them by looking at their choice of coffee mug. That said, here is a Big Banana Coffee Mug to let anyone who is interested know how big your banana is, it’s “BIG”. ...
There are more types of wine bottle holders than there are brands of wine, “that’s a lot”, to say the least. But not all wine holder are made the same, or have the same,… appeal. With that said, wine drinkers are “typically” a happy bunch, like grapes on a vine, the stick together and enjoy displaying their wine ...
Just about every one of us has a little bit of OCD in us. Some more than others, so we need OCD tools to help us during our day. We've also seen those videos that really cater to our OCD. But, what about the videos that reach deep inside your chest and disturb you at a level that makes you want to take over. Like when ...
Damn. It took Colorado’s legitimization of marijuana no time whatsoever to maximize consumer convenience. When Tumbleweed Express officially opens its doors in the small western town of Parachute in March, weed aficionados will bask in the satisfying convenience of the state’s pioneering drive-thru Mary Jane retailer. ...
After reading the following, you may ask yourself and even us, “Did that really need to be said?” Our succinct rebuttal? Damn right, it does: this four-foot-wide inflatable Giant Whoopee Cushion Pool Float does not actually pass its gas when you plant your ass on it. Are we disappointed? No. When Mom told us Dad ...
Remember the Ed Gein Serial Killer Jacket we featured not so long ago? You know, the one composed of vinyl treated with downright motherly loving care to resemble cured human flesh with the most disturbing possible realism? Yeah, that Ed Gein Serial Killer Jacket. If you own one and keep coming to the conclusion ...
Within every child lurks the surgical argumentative precision to semantically dissect any instruction or question and use it against a logically inept grown-up. What’s that, Mom? You demand that we refrain from touching our sister? Well, I challenge you to point out when the tip of my finger closes the present ...
Every baby is just one or two critical life choices at any given time away from becoming an elite underworld assassin. No living thing on Earth is born so innately adept as a wrinkly human clone ejected from a woman’s nethers at “making it look like an accident.” No, that is not “the drugs talking.” Not this time. ...
Your kitchen is a temple of great honor. May your blades be swift, whether dicing chicken or slicing a sandwich. May your cuts always be smooth as a windless lake and may your chopping hand remain strong as a dragon's maw. Should the worst befall you and your own steel spill your blood, may you never dishonor your ...
If acclaimed British comedian Ricky Gervais wanted some timely YouTube hype for his upcoming Netflix-original movie “David Brent: Life on the Road,” Old Spice and First We Feast host Sean Evans were hell-bent on making him earn every word the acerbic Anglo could get in edgewise. If you’ve ever seen the sadistically ...
Go ahead. Give this four-foot-wide inflatable Giant Eyeball Pool Float an eyeful of your moneymaker. That is literally what you pay for in this case, isn’t it? Look, we’re just saying, there may be no better way to press a bulging eyeball against your sweaty bum without having to explain to a judge just how anyone ...
Yes, with Marvel’s “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2” edging nearer on the horizon, Hasbro has unveiled Dancing Groot Vol. 2 for a Spring 2017 arrival in stores everywhere. Don’t pretend this surprises you. For those who missed out on the original surprise 2014 intergalactic adventure entirely or just its famously ...
Jason Lazarus 
Glenn Urieta