Only a Big Daddy’s unparalleled toughness and savagery could suffice to protect Rapture’s most precious assets, the Little Sisters. For these re-purposed ne’er-do-wells of Andrew Ryan’s Utopia, there’s no such thing as too big an arsenal or too much storage for toting it around, if it means reducing anything that oversteps its bounds to about the consistency of carnitas.
We’re going out on a limb right now and assuming you don’t walk about wearing a redesigned diving suit. Let’s all go for broke and additionally assume you are not a video game character programmed for typically convenient and unrealistic carrying capacity. Whereas a Big Daddy’s bulging suit probably comes with considerately designed storage, history reminds us that only so many essentials will hold their places down the front of your pants after your pockets overflow.
(The most compelling historical evidence is best documented by our rap sheet of procuring Thanksgiving dinner essentials one item at a time from Safeway on a budget of $0.76 and our hopes and dreams. Hey, you have your way of affording a turkey every year. We have ours.)
Trust us, we are all better off for you not looking, sounding, or especially smelling like a Big Daddy. That being said, this lumbering undersea protectorate deserves one wide berth. Wear this Big Daddy Backpack with pride and hope that portholes colored with a mix of green, yellow, and red leaves your enemies at a loss to predict your mood and the likelihood you maul them for looking at you the wrong way.
Inside, you’ll find well-designed space worthy of every Little Sister’s sworn guardian, including a cushioned laptop pocket and an interior drawstring closure covered by the Rapture icon beneath the flap. Since shuffling about spoiling for a fight can be lonely and dangerous, there’s even an adorable plush Little Sister for you to protect – violently, if necessary – while she clings to your zipper looking out for “angels.”
