Beaver Blaster Absurdly Spits Projectiles At Your Office Enemies

Take our word for it: you will never have so much fun making a beaver pop out foam balls – not this side of Tijuana, anyway.

The Nerf Marshmallow Fun Beaver Blaster reassures us that better living through maximum absurdity is a concept alive and well wherever good times are had. Try as mankind might, successful weaponization of these formidable bucktoothed dam-builders of the animal kingdom has eluded the military-industrial complex for generations. The ultimate breakthrough defies our wildest, most ridiculous dreams of animalistic projectile weaponry.

Just like any 18th-birthday party worth remembering, start the fun by stuffing the beaver. Once you load a soft projectile into its mouth, fire when ready by either yanking the tail back and releasing it as you would a slingshot or pulling it back, locking it in place by pulling it up and then spanking it back down to make the beaver discharge.

Yes, you sometimes have to slap a beaver to get the most fun out of it. Did our mother teach you nothing?

Of course, since filling a beaver up and blasting away just once is rarely enough merriment to satisfy anyone, the Nerf Marshmallow Fun Beaver Blaster’s handle features a storage chamber for spare balls and a few handy targets. After all, nobody has ever gone to the grave lamenting, “I wish I had spent less time blasting the beaver.”