Mother Nature doesn’t often deal in perfection. Every now and then, however, she just knocks one immaculate notion out of the park. Praise bacon, hallowed be thy taste.
To prepare bacon for consumption in its proper glory, you must become one with the bacon. Nothing less than the Bacon Apron’s succulently marbled design shall befit the pinnacle of pork as it is gifted to the starving, slobbering masses. Let he or she who would claim worthiness of the almighty pig prostrate themselves before this protective garment’s faux bacon-style tray, whether received as a Secret Santa offering or merely a token of appreciation to discerning carnivore with a healthy sense of humor.
Let he who is without bacon don the Bacon Apron and be moved by the sizzle within.