We would like to remind our crotchety next-door neighbor, Mr. Weathers, that we were the reasonable ones. We wanted to resolve ownership of the apple tree hanging across our property lines without anyone getting hurt. The roots are entirely on our side. It doesn’t matter if the branches hang almost entirely over his backyard. Since that is indisputably our tree, we had every right to jump his fence, pick a bushel, and celebrate by performing the “Naked Apple Dance” and jumping into his pool.
You could have walked away, Mr. Weathers. You chose to stand your ground. Unfortunately, you wage this war in a world where a 1/7-Scale Master Craft AT-ACT replica from Beast Kingdom is available for preorder at a meager $34,999.99 price point.
Don’t you worry about where we found nearly $35,000. We are the music-makers. We are the dreamers of dreams. We gave Tommy Wiseau cold, hard cash to make “The Room” and financed the last three “Transformers” sequels. When we decide something needs to happen, it happens. Keep that in mind when you ponder who took out a $35,099.99 loan against your home’s equity. Revisit the notion once more when pondering how this nearly 10-foot tribute to an awesomely imposing “Star Wars” vehicle made its way inside your house to block your doorway.
When you want to discuss what to do with this remarkably faithful 7,038-pound model made from an undisclosed material and meticulously based on digital models employed in “Rogue One: A Star Wars Story,” come by for a chat. We might even offer you a slice from the $100 worth of pizza you bought us. That was very generous of you, by the way.