We really need an adult to independently curtail our fascination with HBO’s “Westworld.” Would that we had the $7 million at our disposal to cover Hammacher Schlemmer’s list price for this fully operational 23 Acre Wild West Town, there’s no way we would behave responsibly. The bad seeds have long since been sown.
Donley’s Wild West Town was born in northwestern Illinois in 1979, a massive stagebrush-and-sarsaparilla amusement attraction comprised of two residences, offices, and a warehouse, museum, restaurant, convention hall, and commercial kitchen among its 14 buildings.
Sure, it seems like a magnet for excitable children between about 3 and 11 years of age, from its junior-sized working steam locomotive, mine-themed roller coaster, handcrank-powered cart track, and central carousel to pony rides, panning for gold, slingshot target range, and historically meticulous ambiance. Be all of that as it may, we wouldn’t be buying this town lock, stock, and barrel to play around in its saloon, jail, smithery, and livery like grizzled Old West pioneers.
No one would nee to browse the museum’s extensive collection of genuine memorabilia and living history displays for an authentic taste of life on an untamed frontier. Let’s just say, unlike the park’s daily action-packed cowboy show, we would have no conflicts of conscience about taking commitment to realism all the way. The only real cowboys who shot “blanks” were the poor bastards who got kicked between the uprights by an ornery bronco. Coca-Cola and live ammunition both prove that you can’t beat the real thing.
The difference being, Coca-Cola can’t demonstrate the stopping power of a vintage revolver or how cowboys would deal with cheating card sharks. Advantage, bullets.