17 Man Candle Scents Guaranteed To Put Gorilla Hair On Your Chest

We’ve made a point of it before, but it bears repeating: we wouldn’t resent being dragged toward overpoweringly fragrant Yankee Candle displays if the product would overpower us with an array of more realistic and familiar pleasing aromas instead of what we have to figure is an “A”-for-effort imitation of having our noses rammed up a unicorn’s anus.

Look, once you’ve gone cheeks-to-cheeks with a magical horse, nothing man could conceive will ever compare. We’re just insulted and depressed that anyone keeps trying.

Instead, we could do with a few more aromatic artisans such as Etsy’s Gorilla Candles. These crafty wizards of wax are adherents to a conviction that nothing smells so soothing as something reminiscent of motor oil, work boots, dirt, a scrumptious BLT or even the burnt richness of pipe tobacco – you know, things everyday men have actually whiffed a time or two and possibly bound to some genuinely warm memories.

That’s the difference between our olfactory complexes, ladies: you like things that smell like someplace you wish you were. Men like things like manly things they fondly remember doing last weekend.


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7.5 Total Score
Manliest Stinks Ever

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  1. Only half of these are “man scents.” The other half are disgusting.

  2. Only half of these are “man scents.” The other half are disgusting.

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