Like everyone who dedicates day after day to showcasing the weird and wonderful geekiest chic stuff teeming with Interwebz Win, we’re always stepping over hills of cold hard cash. It’s really quite a chore keeping a clean office when the daily lunchtime golden-tricycle races send $100 bills scattering everywhere. They flutter into the platinum toilets, litter Humpy the pet humpback whale’s tank, and frighten the unicorn pulling the company ice cream truck.
On the bright side, we never have to order napkins.
If you’re like us, though, something just rankles you about letting guests wipe their mouths from the Foie Gras buffet with Benjamin’s they didn’t earn. That’s why we keep a gross or two of these $100 Bill Printed Napkins around at all times.
Now, we know that not all our fans can one day look forward to ruling over all the Internet that they survey, but we’re going to let you in on how you can make everyone around you THINK that you do. It’s all in these napkins! Whip one out at work, announce that you missed a spot in the bathroom earlier, stuff it back there good and tight, and then casually toss it in a wastebasket.
You win one Internet for every goober who dives headlong into a bin to retrieve Mr. Franklin’s soiled face.
Poor people, are we right?